Heart of the Winterland Page 15

  “If you know nothing of magic, how can you say you do not have it?” the speaker roared. “Those who have no knowledge of something should not speak as if they do.”

  Amee’s lips tightened as she suppressed her anger. It had been an exhausting day filled with things that should’ve been impossible. She let the anger recede from her body, picturing it seeping into the earth beneath her. Her mind clear once more, she remembered the blast of darkness that had silenced the whispers and felled the trees.

  “If I do have magic in my blood, can I learn to use it?”

  “With the proper training, yes.”

  “Teach me.”

  “Teach you?” The mysterious speaker gave a bark of laughter. “I cannot teach you . . . but this book holds all of the knowledge you need.”

  “Can I use it then?”

  The speaker fell silent, the seconds dragging, as Amee waited for the answer.

  “I am the keeper. I cannot let anyone take the book—”

  “But I nee—”

  “Silence! I was not finished. There is one way, and one way alone, that will allow you to take the book and discover its secrets.” He paused.

  “Yes, what is it?” Amee said impatiently.

  “You must agree to become the keeper.”

  Amee scoffed, “And spend the rest of my days as an invisible, disembodied voice. No, thank you. Even if that book holds the key to my happiness, it is not worth being—”she waved her hand vaguely“—whatever you are.”

  “Fool, I never said you had to become like me. I chose this form because it requires no care, unlike your mortal body.”

  “To each their own,” Amee muttered. “As long as you swear that what you say is true, I will accept guardianship of the book.”

  The sky darkened and thunder rumbled. A chill wind cut through Amee’s thin, peasant clothes. “I do so swear,” the keeper spoke, the words carrying on the wind.

  Amee nodded. Thinking that something formal should be said to announce this moment, she declared, “I, Amee, release you from your role as keeper and promise to protect the book as its new keeper.”

  Lightning flashed, striking the arch above her. The crack of stone drove Amee to action. Fear shot through her as she snatched the book and fled to a safe distance. She watched in fascinated horror as cracks spread, causing the arch to weaken until it shattered and fell to the ground. The debris buried the pillar, leaving nothing but a pile of stones where a once magical place had been.

  The sky cleared and the sun shone down on the meadow as if nothing had happened. Amee tentatively walked to the rock heap, clutching the book to her chest. As she neared, she saw something under the debris, along the edge. Moving quickly now, she closed the distance between her and whatever was half-buried.

  Her breath caught. Lying on the ground was an ancient man, his legs crushed beneath a boulder. His chest weakly rose and fell. As if he heard her footsteps, the man opened his eyes and stared at her. He wheezed and grimaced in pain.

  “Thank you, my child. I thought ridding myself of my weak, failing body would make me happier. For years, I have been confined to this clearing, denied of all things mortals fail to appreciate. Grass underfoot, the taste of fresh venison, and even the bitter cold of winter.” He coughed. His hand quivered as he lifted it to her. She took it, not knowing what else to do. “Only someone of magic, who willingly took the responsibility of guarding the book, could return me to a mortal form.”

  “You are free, but you are dying anyway,” Amee said, perplexed.

  “Death will be a sweet relief. This body is old, much like the one I left; it would not have lasted long anyway.” Tears filled his eyes, leaking from the corners. “Magic is not . . . the—” His body was wracked by another coughing fit as his eyes glazed over. Panic filled Amee. She dropped his hand, falling to her knees beside him.

  “What? Magic is not what?” She grabbed his shoulders and shook him.

  “It’s . . . not the . . . it won’t . . .” His words trailed off. The coughing stopped.

  Amee stared at him. Her hands still gripped the rough cotton of his shirt. He was dead, his message gone with him. A breeze ruffled her dark hair, causing her to look up. The book, where had she put the book? Panic blossomed in her, but stilled when she saw it lying next to her. She clung to it. She had paid a price, if one could call vowing to protect a sacred book a price, and she intended to keep her prize.

  Rising to her feet, Amee gave one last look at the elderly man and was startled to discover his body was gone. Nothing remained but his crude garments. No. Even as she watched, those too crumbled into dust before being swept away by the breeze.

  Benoni nickered, bringing her back to the present. She rubbed his nose absentmindedly. That day had started her path to becoming untouchable. That book had taught her the nuances of magic and she was no longer powerless.

  At first she’d simply wanted to rid herself of weakness. To never let anyone hurt her, emotionally or physically, again. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t put Falan and that insipid flirt out of her mind. They were like a disease that lurked in her body and corrupted her every thought.

  She’d realized the only way she’d truly have peace was if those who had hurt her were destroyed. Take everything from them and give them a taste of what it was like to be her. It should be easy. After all, she was the only magic-wielder in Trabor. She had power beyond anything that fool Falan could imagine.

  Or at least she was supposed to be the only person in Trabor with magic. She had not spent years becoming a sorceress just to have that upstart queen get in her way. No, she would find out what Raina was hiding, and then, she would get her revenge.

  Amee reached the end of the path and stepped into a clearing, the same one that had once borne the stone arch and the last keeper. A towering tree now rose from the center, its roots arcing from the ground. Tucked in the boughs was her home: a simple house, formed around the trunk of the tree, with a wooden platform surrounding it.

  Amee removed Benoni’s tack, leaving him to wander at his leisure. She lifted her hands over her head, feeling the magic surge through her veins in response. Then she was flying through the air, up to the sanctuary of her home. The book would help her find the answers she sought. She was all powerful; surely this minor hitch in her plans could be easily overcome.

  Chapter 16

  Voice suddenly paused in the middle of her narration, breaking the trance the story held over the room.

  “You can’t stop there. What happened next?” Cali cried out.

  “Shh, look,” Voice replied.

  Cali’s eyes fell on Velra, who was fast asleep and breathing peacefully. She clapped a hand over her mouth and sent Kaya an apologetic look.

  Motioning for them to follow, Kaya stepped into the sitting room. Cali was the last to leave the bedroom, making sure to close the door behind her.

  “I didn’t realize she was asleep,” she whispered.

  Kaya waved away Cali’s apology. “She does that all the time. More and more lately. The physicians don’t know what’s wrong.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “We’re running out of options, and time. I think she tries to keep my spirits up most days, even if we both know there’s little hope.”

  “She doesn’t seem like she’s given up,” Cali said.

  “Today is one of her good days. There are lots of days where she won’t even get out of bed. She says death should come take her now, that it would spare me the money worries and her the waiting.” Kaya stared at the floor, averting her eyes. Tears glistened behind her lashes. “She thinks she’s holding me back and doesn’t understand that—”The tears now flowed freely down her cheeks“—she could never be a burden to me.”

  Cali stepped forward, grabbing Kaya’s hand and squeezing it. “You’re lucky to have a mother. I wish I had one.” Well, I wouldn’t want my actual mother. But a mother like I used to imagine would be nice.

  Kaya gave her a watery smile as
she returned the squeeze. “That’s enough sorrow for now. What do you plan on doing with the rest of your day?”

  “Actually.” Cali turned to Voice. “I was wondering if I could talk to Voice, alone.”

  “I don’t mind. Do you, Angel?” Kaya asked.

  Angel shook her head. “Not in the slightest. Kaya and I will keep each other company.”

  “Where would be a good place for us to talk?” Cali asked.

  “Let us go along the shore. It is peaceful there,” Voice suggested.

  A wicked grin crossed Angel’s face. “I have an idea.” She scurried into the tiny kitchen and came back shortly holding a wicker basket. She held it up triumphantly. “You can carry Voice in this, so she won’t be noticed.”

  “I most certainly will not be carried around in that thing,” Voice said indignantly. “At least in the lantern I could see.”

  Cali schooled her face into a serious expression. “But, Voice, you would fit quite nicely in there.”

  “Yes,” Angel agreed. “That would make Cali the only person in the world with a Voice-in-a-basket.” The three girls dissolved into giggles as Voice huffed and sputtered.

  Once they were calm, Cali convinced Voice to float into the basket, and then Kaya led her through the streets until they reached the outskirts of town. “I’ll send Rose for you when she returns and she’ll lead you back.”

  With a wave, Kaya headed back into Rokuhai and was soon out of sight. Cali moved away from the town and waited until she topped a bluff overlooking the sea before opening Voice’s basket.

  Voice floated out and hovered near Cali’s shoulder. “Something is on your mind, is it not, Princess?”

  “Several things, actually. The first being the princess thing. Voice, you can’t keep referring to me as ‘Princess’ in front of strangers. It’s bound to raise all sorts of questions. I get the feeling royalty gallivanting across the countryside isn’t normal.”

  Voice sighed. “It is habit, but I see the looks on people’s faces when I say it.”

  Cali plucked at the grass, winding it around her fingers. “Grass is so much nicer than snow.”

  “Do you miss Trabor?”

  “Sometimes, mostly when I’m tired or when I first wake up. I miss being able to curl up in the library and sleep in my own bed.”

  Minutes passed as Cali mulled over her thoughts. Voice spoke first, breaking into Cali’s musings. “You said there were several things.”

  “Yes, but the next one isn’t easy for me to say.” Cali nervously shredded the piece of grass, refusing to look at Voice. “I’m not sure where to start, so I’ll just begin. You are my guardian. We were all the other had and we should’ve been close. Yet, we weren’t. You provided for me, took care of me when I was sick, set up magical spells to entertain me, taught me to read, but you were always . . . distant. Cold, really. Why? Why did you hold me at arm’s length when any show of warmth on your part would’ve meant so much to me? We could’ve been friends instead of just guardian and charge?

  Cali brought her head up and stared at Voice. I wish she had a face, so I could read her expressions.

  Voice gave a long exhale. “I will try my best to explain. There are things you have not experienced, some blessedly so. The longer you stay in a world with people, the more you will see they love to try and determine who you are. You are a princess, so you must act accordingly. You are a woman, so there are certain traits you will be expected to have.” Voice began to float back and forth. “No one wants to be defined by another person. When your mother cast her spell, she defined me. I was, or am, something that has to follow a strict conduct. I am a guardian. I had to put you first, above all else.”

  Cali’s jaw dropped. I never thought of Voice not wanting to be my caretaker. How terrible to spend two hundred years doing something you didn’t choose.

  Voice was still talking, the words rushing out now. “That first day, you woke up and started squalling. You were alone and afraid. I was floating mid-air, not knowing what was going on. There you were, an angry child, crying for your mother and climbing off the bed. I just wanted you to stop that horrible racket.”

  “How old was I?” Cali interjected.

  Voice paused her circling. “Two winters. You could talk and walk, but you could not care for yourself. You kept calling for your parents.”

  “Why didn’t you just leave me to die?”

  “I might have, if not for the spell,” Voice said softly. “I cannot explain, but it forced me to take care of you. After awhile, I gave up trying to fight it. It wanted me to look after you and tell you that you were loved.”

  Cali smiled sadly in remembrance. “And then I got mad at you for telling me.”

  Voice chuckled. “Yes, though I understood your irritation. Spells are funny things. The larger they are, the more . . . sentient they are. I don’t know what type of spell your mother cast, but it seems it took on a life of its own. Accomplished its purpose in its own way. Apparently it didn’t think a mindless puppet was in your best interest.”

  Cali stared across the vast expanse of water and whispered, “Is that why you do not love me? Because you were forced into my life?”

  Voice’s glow flickered.

  Cali blinked. It couldn’t have flickered. It’s never done that before.

  Just when she thought she wasn’t going to receive an answer, Voice replied, “Partially. I resented you. You represented my captivity. You were the reason I was stuck as a nursemaid. I did not have your mother around to blame, and I am afraid you became the target of my anger.” She paused. “For the other part, I was not sure I could love. Not you, not anyone.”

  Cali ducked her head, picking at her cuticles. “Do you still dislike me?”

  Without hesitation, Voice answered, “No, not in the slightest. I have grown rather fond of you.”

  Relief swept through Cali, flooding her with warmth. Unable to stop herself, she wrapped her arms around her knees and began rocking back and forth. She cares about me. Tears slid down her cheeks.

  “Princess?” Voice said with concern.

  Cali raised her tear-streaked face and smiled. “I’m all right. That meant the world to me. Raina may have given birth to me, but you raised me. You are more like a mother than she.”

  They sat in silence and watched the sun dip toward the horizon, casting its golden rays across the water. Cali stood stiffly, stretched her arms over her head and then bent to grab the basket. “We should head back. Rose will be waiting for us.”

  “You go ahead, Princess. I think I will stay here awhile. I can find my own way back.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “Quite, now get along with you.”

  Cali took a few steps back towards town, before turning and fidgeting with her blouse. “Don’t forget it’s Cali now.”

  “Then goodbye for now . . . Cali,” Voice said softly.

  Cali walked down the bluff, only stopping once to glance up at Voice. “I love you,” she whispered, before dashing the rest of the way to town.

  ❄❄❄

  Voice watched Cali scamper across the grass. She did not think Cali had meant for her words to be heard, but the wind had carried them to Voice anyway.

  Old fool. Letting such things as love get to me. When did that child stop being bothersome? Probably around her two-hundredth birthday, when everything changed. That stupid spell, I wish I knew what it was exactly.

  She floated down to the shoreline, hovering above the crashing waves. Things are different. Cali is changing and so am I. What does that mean for me? Will I cease to exist once Cali no longer needs me? That cannot be far away.

  A stray thought appeared in Voice’s mind, surprising her with its intensity. I wish I had someone to pour out my troubles to.

  “This is foolishness. I’ve kept my thoughts to myself this long. It doesn’t matter if I must continue to do so.” Saying the words out loud did nothing to convince her mind of their truth. Not willing to sit with her tumultuous
thoughts any longer, Voice floated back to Rokuhai, the sun disappearing into the sea.

  ❄❄❄

  Cali plopped on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Her mind was abuzz with everything that had transpired that day. Though she was intrigued by Amee’s story, she found herself more focused on her conversation with Voice.

  She cares about me and she doesn’t have to. That’s a start.

  On their way back to the tavern, Rose had seemed distracted and left Cali to her thoughts. Now, though, Cali wanted something to take her mind off her day.

  “Where did you go today, Rose? Who’s Caran?”

  Abandoning her post at the window, Rose sank on her bed and faced Cali.

  “The sea is both a blessing and a curse. It brings traders, making us the hub of commerce in Shayal. Many of the townsfolk make their living off the sea and its bounties.” She paused, once again looking towards the window. “But there are times it takes people we care about.”

  “You mentioned Caran’s grandfather.”

  “Yes, he’s been missing for too long. His family fears he won’t return. I try and help by bringing meals and doing some housework. It’s not enough, though.” Rose’s eyes were full of pain. There was a vulnerable look to her face that Cali had never seen before.

  It hit Cali like an icy wind. Rose was no stranger to the type of pain Caran’s family faced. She reached across the space between the beds and grabbed Rose’s hand between her own. “You lost someone to the sea, didn’t you?”

  Rose brought her gaze sharply to Cali’s. Her eyes narrowed in wariness. “How did you know that?”

  “The look on your face just now was an echo of how my heart felt when I listened to Kaya talk about her mother. She’s facing a life without her mother and I can relate to that.”

  Blinking, Rose sat back, withdrawing her hand from Cali’s. “I lost my parents in a storm ten years ago. They were the only family I had. Kaya and Velra took me in, cared for me. Velra was my mother’s best friend. They’re my family now.”